Bitter Sweet Summer
by Erin Everhart
Summary: Now entering plot phase. Post "Always" Castle and Beckett have finally crossed the line. Filled with all shorts of new hopes and fears for their new lives with each other, they must first deal with the multitude of new problems they've created. All the while they discover just how hard it is to try to run from their pasts. Bitter sweet with lots of Drama but I love a happy ending.
1. Miracle

_A/N: Hey, just keeping myself busy over the summer since I lost my job so I started writing this. That and I really miss the T.V. Show, particularly the characters. P.s. My first fanfic._

_**Edit A/N:** It was brought to my attention last night by a reader that my "you're"s were screwed up. I want to be sure you know this is from a very faulty auto correct used in my word processor on a laptop so old that I type faster than it can accept input. I often find myself back tracking to fix screw ups because of these things. My own partner in crime, who is far better with computers than I, will work to fix the auto correct but please bear with me till this issue is fixed. I too hate the misuse of the English language. I'd also like to say thank you for the formatting information that I have wondered about for so long. I will work diligently to keep an eye on these problems that have been brought to light and thank you all again for your patients. Now on with the story.  
_

Castle woke up to light streaming in through his bedroom curtains. Because of this he kept his eyes shut. What a dream he had last night. It must have been his subconscious playing evil tricks on him again. This wouldn't be the first time he had a intimate dream about her. She was always in his dreams, and his nightmares. But this one blew his mind. Usually his dreams were just plain and simple naughty fantasies. He would create characters for him and her to play in his mind. It would make it easier to believe that she was going along with it. They weren't themselves after all. A short of sexual mental role play. The case with the journal that once belonging to the private investigator only encouraged this behavior of his subconscious more. But this dream was different. She had confessed to him, apologized for hurting him, given him more than he could have ever imagined. It seemed so possible, so real. The wound of their "break up" from a few days earlier was still fresh. He came to the conclusion this dream must have been a product of it still oozing. That now put behind him, it was morning, a fresh day, time to start new.

He went to sit up in bed, stretch and rub his face as he usually would but suddenly, as he became more awake, he realized there was pressure against his chest. Not heavy or bothersome. Not at all. In fact it felt warm, and...soft? Castles eyes shot wide open. Was it a dream? Could you even fall asleep within a dream only to wake up still in a dream and not know it because of this fact? No that's not possible. That was inception. His mind would not betray him that badly. There was only one word to describe this. Miracle. There, cuddled up in his bed, against his chest, naked, was the last person he ever expected to see. Kate Beckett.

Fear shot through him and he froze stiff. As if this were all some short of mirage and if he moved it would brake or turn to sand and slip through his fingers. As he lay there frozen in complete silence the realization that last night had actually happened sunk in. She had come to him, looking utterly defeated and hopeless but after everything, he had held back. He had to after what she did to him. But in that moment he held back, she looked up at him so desperate and honest. He saw the same need, the same burning passion for him that had burned in his eyes for her for years and he caved.

But what happened now? His mind began to race. What happens when she wakes up? What if she thinks she made a mistake and turned up here desperate and hurt. What if she wakes up, freaks out and says she wasn't thinking straight and walks out his door, never to be seen again? Or worse, what if she tried to deny or ignore that it had ever happened just like all the previous incidents. He couldn't handle that. It would kill him. He may have been married twice and, though he wouldn't admit it, truly loved his former wives, but never in all his life, as a teenager with raging emotions or experienced adult, had he felt this way about another woman before.

No. He couldn't think that way. He had to focus on the hopeful. He remembered more of the night. The words she had said. No. She wouldn't walk out on him. She couldn't. It was so tender, so honest, so passionate. Could she really feel the same way about him? It was all still too hard to believe. He smiled at the memory of last night and decided to let the worries wait. For now, Kate Beckett was naked in his bed and he was going to enjoy that while he could.

He looked at her without a thousand thoughts running through his head for the first time since he opened his eyes to find her. She looked so peaceful and strangely, but much to Castles delight, content. A light smile played upon her soft pink lips and her hair fell, a curly brunette mess, over her forehead, against his chest and down her back. Castle mentally took a picture to remember her this way forever. He could feel her breath soft against his chest as she slept soundly. If one could stop time, ever in existence, he begged they gave him now.

The sheets had seemed to have gotten tangled down around their waists through the night giving him a fantastic view of her lower back. He let his eyes glide down her body drinking her in not knowing when this would end, and praying it never would. His hand seemed to have found it's natural place of rest in the middle of her back and looking down on them like that, it all just felt so right. Castles hand betray him as he felt this need to just touch her, stroke her. The mental fight of realizing this was real gave way to the physical need to make sure it was. He reached up and stroked the hair that hung over her face and tucked it behind her ear. Then slowly, gently, he ran his fingers through her hair and down her back. The need to re-experience last night over again grew in him. He wanted to explore more. No, if she woke it was over. Too late. He allowed his hand to cup her cheek and brush it gently with his thumb and then it happened. A quick intake of air as she returned to the conscious. She was awake. Castle's childish instincts kicked in and he did the first thing that came to mind. Pretend he was still asleep. He lay his head back quickly and tried to relax his body under her. But as he reminded himself who's body he was laying under, he found this to be a difficult task. _You're asleep. You're asleep. You're asleep. _He whispered mantras to himself inside his head. Fear boiling up inside him at what could possibly come next.

_A/N: So like I said, I'm new to this writing thing though I've been reading forever. So please don't be mean. However, I love good constructive criticism. Key word constructive! If you like what you're reading then please review. It would definitely make me want to write more. _


	2. Explanations and Apologies

Kate Beckett awoke and felt her face against something warm and comforting. Once it hit her that she wasn't in her own bed her detective instincts kicked in. Green eyes flying open but not moving a muscle as not to give herself away, she surveyed the room to asses the situation. Her head was on someones chest and they were naked. The bed was soft and the sheets were silky and black. Then she remembered. Who the hell else has black bedding? The memories of last night and where she was all came flooding back to her in a flash and she relaxed. Everything was over, her job, her crusade, all over. Yet here_ he_ still was, even after all she'd put him through.

She raised her head slowly to look at him, the man she owed so much. If it weren't for him she would be completely lost right now. So much was changing so fast but he was her solid ground. Always. She knew she'd be able to lean on him. He seemed to still be asleep. His jaw hung slack and his hair a mess, probably her doing, but something seemed off. His eyes seemed to dart under their lids and his breathing seemed almost forced. A grin grew to her face as she positioned herself so her chin rested on the palms of her hands, elbows light against his abdomen. "Faker." Was all she said to him out loud as she called his bluff. But to her surprise he didn't budge. Oh he was going to make this too easy.

She rolled off of him hard paying good mind to disturb him and he kept his rouse. Big mistake. Now that he lay beside her completely exposed, she was going to explore a little bit. She secretly had always wanted to explore the land that was Castles chest and abdomen and she took full advantage. Ever so softly, barely touching, she ran her fingers from his ear down his neck to his toned chest and supple abs, following the dark hair that created a trail down to his groin. He was certainly chubbier then most of the men she chased. Having less predominate ab muscles that lay under a thin layer of what could only be called daddy pudge, showed a rare maturity that she found she surprisingly liked. From there she darted sideways to his hips where the leg joins the body and drew little circles in the valleys there before running her hand back up to spread her fingers and rest them on his chest. The whole time she kept her eyes on him, watching for a reaction, to make him lose this silly game of his. Evey thing was a game with Castle and that's what made him so fun.

Once she had reached his lower region and began to play there he inhaled quickly until she brought her hand back up to his chest when he finally let the breath out and, slowly, one by one, he opened his eyes.

"Mornin' stud" she greeted him jokingly with a smile. She still couldn't believe how she'd gotten here but she didn't care anymore. She was here and on top of the world. She read the features on his face and he looked scared. Almost shocked until she had said the words. Now it was more towards shock.

"This..This isn't a dream is it? Or would you know cause I guess if you're in the dream you wouldn't know and that would mean you couldn't tell me..." He was already going a hundred miles an hour. She should have expected this. Especially after everything she had done. She did the only thing she knew how to when dealing with Castle when he got like this and that was to treat him exactly how he was acting, like a irrational child. His nipples were just too tempting and it was all too simple. She pinched them without a second though and gave them a light twist. Castle's rambles cut off mid word into yelps of pain. " Or whaOw, Ow, OW, OW, OW!" He cried out. "What was that for?" He looked at Kate completely bewildered.

"It hurt right?" She asked him, trying to hold back a smile and a laugh. He gave her a look like she was the stupidest person in the world. This just made it harder. "You can't feel pain in dreams Castle." She stated as if her point should have been made obvious by now. It took him a moment but soon the pieces all fell into place. Despite everything his brain argued to him previous, this was not a dream.

He started to laugh, a small giggle at first but it grew until he threw his head back in an all out laughing fit. Kate couldn't help but laugh with him. All the thoughts that must be going through his head right now. After a few minutes, she started to get a little worried and so asked jokingly. "Hey, You okay? Did I break ya Castle?" He stopped immediately and a look of worry returned to his face. She really had broken him. She had put him through so much that he seemed to not know how to process last night events, or her reaction. She looked at him, concern in her eyes and she reached out to grab his hand, the both of them now sitting up in the bed. She stroked his knuckles lightly with her thumb not knowing what to say to reassure him. She decided she would try to apologize, again. She owed him so much. "Rick, I'm so sorry for everything." She started, using his first name to show her seriousness. But he cut her off, fear returning to his face.

"No. No, please don't leave Kate. Please." he pleaded. It was then all so obvious what he was afraid of. How could she have been so blind not to see it. Every other time they experienced something. That special spark. When they'd connect by accident or, though they wouldn't admit it, on purpose, she would deny it. Pretend it didn't happen. She wasn't ready. She had kept making excuses for years now and the product of that damage she caused sat before her, wounded and scared just like her.

She quickly crawled over to him, hushing as she did. "Whoa, No, Hey, I wasn't going to leave." Her tone was soft. Softer then she had probably ever used when talking to Castle save last night. She curled herself up against him, wrapping his arms around her encouraging him to hold her. To show him her intent. "I was trying to apologize for everything I've put you through." She nuzzled her face into his neck and kissed him there. "I love you." She whispered in his ear reassuringly then brought herself back to meet his gaze. He seemed better but not convinced.

"So what now?" He asked, a little unsure of everything. Kate had to think about that for a long time before answering. What now? What now indeed. It was suddenly brought back to her attention just how lost she was. A heavy sigh escaped her.

"I... I really don"t know." She said to him honestly. Worry began to fill her as she tried to figure out how to break all the news of yesterday to Castle. Her body ached from her fight yesterday and that brought back with it the painful memories even more vividly. Before she could get a hold of herself she began to cry. A conscious self on the inside screaming to take back control all the while she'd lost it. The emotional impact of last night, that monster getting away, quiting her job, Gates words, and all the damage she had caused to so many people, Javi, Kevin, Castle, his family and even herself, hit her like a giant tsunami and it overwhelmed her. "Oh god, Castle I screwed up so bad this time." She sobbed into him as he rocked her in his lap. "Not on getting with you." She said quickly, still trying to keep mind not to scare him. When it came down to it, He was one of the last things she had left.

She continued to try and keep rambling but Castle reached his hand up and tilted her chin to look at him. They were both so broken. He kissed her gently and passionately until she calmed down. After he ended the kiss she let a slow sigh escape as she tried to regain control of breathing. _What is wrong with me?_ she kept thinking to her self. She looked deep into Castle's baby blue eyes and there was nothing but love and comfort in them now. The roles had reversed.

"Tell me everything this time, from the begging. Start from after our fight." He instructed her. She gave a nod and then started. Castle sat patiently and listened as she told him about everything. How they got the lead and her and Espo went after him themselves with no back up. "Oh Kate." He interjected at hearing this rookie like mistake of hers all for her pride.

"I know, stupid." She said accepting that she had made too many mistakes to keep track of in the last forty eight hours. She continued with how he beat her and totally outmatched and overwhelmed her. She didn't stand a chance. Not in the state of mind she was in, not alone. She even told him how she swore she could hear his voice, telling her to hang on as she watched her last fingertips slip from the buildings ledge before Ryan caught her, pulling her up to No Castle, just a S.W.A.T. team and Gates. She told him how Esposito was put on suspension and he blamed Ryan for tattling on them. She was given a suspension as well but she resigned from the one two when Gates had said her and Esposito had dishonored the city and the badge and they didn't deserve it.

Castle was furious at this and threatened to call the mayor on her behalf."He's become a huge fan of you. He'll tell her where to stick her..." He tried to say but Kate cut him off.

"No Castle that's not the point. The point is I don't even know what I want in life anymore." She continued on how the only thing she did know she wanted in life now was him and when she had finally come to terms with that realization she came here. "This is all I know I want now Rick, is you. The rest..." She sighed, so lost. Castle squeezed her against him and she looked up at him and asked "Say something reassuring, please?" A smile grew on his face at these words. He loved that she was confiding in him like this.

"The boys will work this through, Espo has a temper but they'll work it out. As for the job, Kate, you are an amazing woman and you can do anything you put your mind too and you know I don't mind helping." He told her and she tried to interject at this but Castle put a finger to her lips and continued anyways. "If you knew half the money I've made off Nikki Heat you'd force me." He said with a devious grin of his. "But I have to know" He started again. "If you did care all this time then why did our fight seem to have no impact on you? How did you just let me walk away? Because that was the hardest thing I've ever done Kate. I just wanted you to stop me." He asked honestly and he did deserve an answer.

Just a few days ago Richard Castle literally poured his heart out to her in her living room. Laid down all his card and put his heart on his sleeve and all she had done was tell him he was wrong. He deserved to know what went through her head that day. "Rick, I was angry and frustrated at the world." she started. "I think what upset me so much about your speech was how contradictory you seemed to me at the time. I know you had my well being at heart but I was being selfish and it made me blind. I guess when you told me you'd been hiding information you made me feel like a child and worst of all I felt betrayed. I thought we were partners, especially on this crusade. My crusade, except it wasn't just my crusade anymore. You had made it ours. You were there with me, I wasn't alone anymore and when I found out you hid vital case information from me for a year it was like we weren't a team anymore. Like I was alone. You understand?" She paused for a moment to make sure he was still following her. He nodded.

"Rick It broke my heart when you dropped that ultimatum on me and I made you walk out that door. Part of me thought, He'll come around, he always does. But deep down I knew I blew it. But my crusade, I couldn't be whole without it. I couldn't move on in life till it was over. It was my excuse and I buried myself in it. But once I realized you were right, that I couldn't win this and there would be no life unless I let it go, I had already driven you away, I was so scared. Richard Castle, please forgive me for being weak and damaged and everything I've put you through?" She asked hoping her explanation brought some light to her actions.

A smile from ear to ear grew on his face and he kissed her."Katherine Beckett, I wouldn't have it any other way."

_A/N: Yay a longer chapter. So I will try to keep their lengths up just with how I want to have it changing character points of views, some may end up long, some may end up short. I like changing views because it lets you get inside different characters heads. Reviews would make my day and always make me want to write more._


	3. Shower Time

Kate Beckett turned herself and looked at the pair of them in the mirror hanging on his closet door. "Look at us Castle." she said to him shaking her head. He beamed. He couldn't believe it. She really was invested in this. In them. This was really happening. Sure they now had issues they had to work out but they could do it together. It was nothing time couldn't fix and to Castle, they had all the time in the world.

He looked in the mirror as she instructed, a smile as big a the Cheshire cat on his face."I know don't we look cute?" He half giggled. Kate laughed at his joy. They did look cute cuddled together again, but not the point she was looking for.

"Yes, but I also mean really look at us. We're a mess." she stated. Castle continued to look at them in the mirror. His hair was everywhere and big bags hung under his eyes from tears over the past days. He then looked at Kate. Her hair was stat-icky from the rain of yesterday and an utterly knotted, tangled, mess. Heavy, dark, bags also hung under her eyes for the same reason as his but despite her thinking herself a mess, Castle couldn't think of her as anything but utterly beautiful.

"I think you look beautiful, but I'll always think you're beautiful." He said sweetly and then kissed her cheek. Castle was overjoyed as he watched the pink of a blush creep up on Beckett's face both from his words and his action, but still she held true to her goal.

"We need a shower." She said to him, that oh so familiar authoritative tone lacing her voice. Kate got up off the bed and walked herself to the small bathroom attached to him room. She turned to him, leaning on the door frame, arms across her chest. "You comin' Castle?" She raised an eyebrow suggestively at him. It was like he was super charged. Like a gun had gone off, Castle flew out of his bed to his attached bathroom to join his now more then just a partner for a shower. He flicked on the light and they both winced against it. It had been very dim still in his bedroom with only a rays of sunlight breaking through his curtains and now he could see her in full light for the first time.

Once he got a view of her back he grabbed her by the hips and began to inspect what appeared to be a large yellow bruise over most of her back. "What happened here?" He asked gently running his fingers over the skin so as not to hurt her. He should have expected something to show from her fight the day before, it's just to him Kate Beckett has always seemed so...immune? No, that wasn't the word he was looking for. But despite everything they'd been through she never seemed to show a scratch other than the sniper incident, or that time they nearly froze to death. But hand to hand? He'd always thought she couldn't be touched. She whirled around, checking her back in the mirror. There was in fact a large bruise on her back. Faint but it was there.

"Well I did get thrown around on that rooftop a lot and I was hanging on for my life with one arm at one point. My body is killing me." She stated as she began to roll her neck and shoulders trying to work out the knots. "Thank God for Kevlar at the very least or I'd be hurting a lot more." She tried to joke. It seemed Castle's coping mechanism of humor was rubbing off. It did seem to help a little. Castle walked up behind her placing his hands on her shoulders and kissing the side of her neck gently. To his surprise, Kate rolled her head back to rest on his shoulder and turned to nuzzle his neck in return.

"C'mon, I know how to fix this." He said, leading her towards his shower. He turned on the water and adjusted it so the temperature was as hot as one could stand and then taking her hands, led her into the shower. He stood so that the water fell over his shoulder and landed square onto hers, having her face away from him so that he could scrub and massage her shoulders and back. "Hope you don't mind smelling like a man." He said with a chuckle and she laughed too as he squeezed some of his body wash out onto his hands and began to rub it over her back. He worked his thumbs into her shoulders, neck, and other knotted areas as he washed her, paying careful mind to the tender bruised areas. He felt as her body relaxed under his hands and knew he was doing a good job. Once he had finished scrubbing and rubbing her down he let her rinse. The small smile that seemed to permanently remain on her lips was quite refreshing from the scowl that seemed to occupy there the few days previous. It filled Castle with utter joy.

He watched as the water flowed down her body, washing away the soap suds. He couldn't help but be aroused. His hands reached out and he took a step towards her. She looked up when he moved, a devious grin on her face. Oh, he knew that look. He was growing to love it more and more. Before he could touch her she grabbed the body wash. "Not so fast big boy. My turn." She said squeezing some of the liquid soap out onto her hand. He loved it when she took charge. She slapped her soapy hand gently against his chest, pushing him against the back wall of the shower. An even bigger grin now rested on Castle's face, if that were even possible. "What are you all smiles about?" She asked him noticing this difference. It was like his eyes were sparkling in an almost boastful way.

"You called me big." He said in his usual cheeky tone. Kate immediately rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh get over yourself Castle." She laughed at his childishness before pushing him back up against the shower wall for a deep kiss. She let her hands wander his body, kneading the muscles of his chest as she went. Castle let his eyes fall shut and his head swim with her. Her hands wandered lower tormenting him. He wanted her so bad. Just when he was about to to fight back and take her as his, she stopped. "All finished." She said, a satisfied smirk on her face. Castle frowned at her. He had thoroughly been enjoying that. "Oh don't look so disappointed. Now, are you going to wash my hair, or am I? Because I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that massage earlier." a hint of longing in her tone. Did she just seriously ask him that? If this is what life was to be like from now on Castle almost wondered if this wasn't a dream but that he'd died and gone to heaven.

"Of course I'll wash your hair." He exclaimed excitedly, like a little boy that was told he could wash his grandpas shiny roadster. She laughed at him again before turning to present her back and hair to him again. Castle squirted some of his usual two in one shampoo out onto his hand before he began lathering it into Kate's tangled locks of hair. She let a relaxed moan escape as he began to work his fingers against her scalp. Not even in his dreams did he ever think he'd get to do this. He relished as he felt the silky smoothness run through his fingertips. She leaned her head back into his hands and her eyes fell shut, the water falling onto both of them. He decided he had worked the shampoo through and that Beckett deserved a taste of her own medicine so he stopped, right when she really seemed to be getting into it. "All finished." He repeated her earlier words back to her. She turned her head quick to face him, a disappointed look on her face much like the one he had minutes earlier. He stepped aside so she could rinse, a smile that said _got you back _on his face. He began to be mesmerized again by the flow of the water and soap down her body and decided that he should just wash his hair to distract himself. The sooner they were out of the shower, the sooner they were back in the bedroom where he could do all the manner of things he was thinking of right now.

While he was rinsing his hair, Kate got out and began toweling off and ran a brush of his she had found through her hair. Then a problem occurred to her that had completely slipped their minds the past forty or so minutes. "Castle, what am I going to wear?" He heard her call from his bedroom. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower beginning to towel off.

"I think I much prefer you naked." He replied as he came to join her in his bedroom. She tried not to laugh at his joke but failed as she attempted to be serious.

"No, seriously, what can I wear? My clothes are still soaked." Castle took a few steps past her to look into his closet and found a t-shirt, a big, grey, baggy sweater, and a pair of navy blue sweats.

"These should do till I can get those washed for you." he said, handing them to her. She looked slightly dissatisfied at the clothing before taking them and starting to put them on. They would have to do. Castle decided that from the sound of rain pounding the windows, the sunlight they had seen earlier must have just been a tease of days to come. Today would be a lazy day and so he would match Beckett in her sweat suit. Once he was dressed he looked at Kate for the first time in her new attire and made a wonderful discovery. Since he had now seen her naked, it didn't matter how unrevealing her clothes were, he could still see that naked figure before him when ever he wanted.

She turned to face him then, like she could feel his eyes on her and caught him gawking. "What are you staring at so hungrily?" She asked him. He froze out of habit but reminded himself how much fun he could have now. He walked up to her bringing his lips level with her ear.

"Just you, I can see you naked now when ever I want." He whispered seductively into her ear. She immediately blushed at hearing this new information but in true Beckett fashion, she shook it off and changed the subject, clearing her throat before she spoke.

"Speaking of hungrily." She started, satisfied the blush was gone, she faced him and continued. "I'm starving." Of course. Castle didn't remember the last time he saw her eat something and he doubted she'd be able to remember. After all the things she had been through there was only one thing he could think of making her for breakfast. Emergency cheer up pancakes. With a twist of course or if Alexis found out she'd be jealous. Alexis! Oh no! Castle's mind began to race. How would he explain this? Was there need for explanation? It was then that his phone rang. There on the screen for his phone was his daughters face. Kate, completely unaware of the inner turmoil he just went through, watched as he quickly darted over to his bedside table and snatched up the phone, answering it.

"Hello? Oh hi honey." Castle was surprised to be getting a call from his daughter who was supposed to have been home. As it turned out she had so much fun at the graduation party she ended up sleeping over at one of her trusted friend's houses. She had tried to call several times and left several messages on his phone to inform him but he never picked up so she guessed he called it a night. "Oh okay, that's great. What time are you going to be home by? Do you know?" Castle asked his daughter, now ecstatic that he knew they had the house to themselves, it was like the stars aligned for him today. She informed him she would be home around lunch time. He looked at the clock for the first time today and saw that it was 9:30 am. Lots of time. "Okay sweetie, thanks for keeping me informed. I'll see you later. Love you too. Bye" Castle held the end call button on his phone and looked back up to Kate. "I love my daughter." he said to her before linking her arm with his and began to head for the kitchen. "Now lets make you some pancakes." He nearly sung. "That sound's great." She replied, placing a hand on his arm and gladly followed.

_A/N: I'd just like to say thank you again for the positive reviews, followers, and favorites this story has gotten. Being my first, I wasn't sure what to expect. I do plan on this story getting more plot heavy as it picks up steam and that should come in the next few chapters. I won't give too much away because the suspense is half the fun._


	4. Pancakes and Movies

Kate sat at the island bar in Castle's kitchen, watching him move swiftly as he prepared their breakfast. She felt awkward as she swam in Castle's clothes but all she could smell was him and she was secretly reveling in it. They chatted lightly back and forth, mostly about Alexis and how they would break the news to her. They figured that plain all out honesty would be best in this case. Alexis was nearly an adult and in this situation, deserved to be treated as such. Castle tried to argue it would be better to hide it at first until Kate reminded him of how bright a daughter he had. She would figure it out in the first few minutes she was sure. No, point in denying it. They even decided to make it a bet. See how long before she figures it out, without them trying to hide it of course. Castle bet at least a day but Kate knew better. "Fifteen minutes tops." She told Castle in a plain tone, picking a grape from the fruit basket resting on the counter in front of her.

"I don't think were that obvious." Castle replied bringing over a couple plates of pancakes and placing one in front of her. She quirked a questioning eyebrow at his statement. They were obvious before they were together. Now it would be far worse. Point made, the chocolaty warm aroma of chocolate chip pancakes filled her lungs and she was forced to look at what had been made for her. When she did her heart melted instantly. Castle had arranged the chocolate chips to be in the shape of a heart.

"Oh, Castle you are too sweet." She said filled with delight.

"I try" He replied shrugging his shoulders, that usual smug grin on his face. Kate reached out to pull him near her.

"C'mere." she said to him, leaning to meet him halfway for a kiss. "Thank you. For everything." Her eyes were locked with his and a soft smile played on both their lips.

"You're very welcome Kate." He replied before taking a seat next to her. "Now eat your emergency cheer up pancakes or I will eat them on you." He told her, thrusting his fork towards her plate to show his seriousness. She laughed and began to pour maple syrup onto the flap jacks, a sign of claiming them. "Oh and don't tell Alexis I made them for you or she'll be jealous." He began to warn her. "It's usually our special thing but after the past few days, I figured we both could use them."

"I'll keep that in mind." She replied now cutting the pancake into smaller, bite size portions. This gesture of picture food was sweet, cute, and so not the play boy Castle she saw from when he was in other relationships. It would take some getting used to this new tender side of Castle but Kate wasn't about to complain at all. In fact this revelation just made her admire the man all the more.

They ate mostly in silence after that, taking to small talk on what they would do for the day. Since it was raining that crossed a lot of things of the list. Kate mulled over the possibilities in her head until it suddenly clicked. "What about that movie marathon I was supposed to join you for?" She asked as she helped gather up the dishes and set them in the sink to soak.

"That's a great idea. I completely forgot about that after everything." He said excitedly. Cuddling on the couch for the day watching gruesome movies with Beckett. Of course Castle was thrilled. "Just let me do these dishes and put your clothes in the wash. Then we can pop some popcorn and have movie time." He chirped as he began to run the hot water in the sink, adding some dish soap.

Kate lightly hip checked Castle out from the front of the sink. "How about, _I _do the dishes _while _you go throw in a load of laundry. That way all that's left is popcorn." She took charge again, an old habit in their relationship that would die hard, if ever.

Castle chuckled at her and her independence. Can't just sit and be a guest. She never could. "As my lady commands." He replied to her as he exited the kitchen to fetch a load of laundry and take it to the laundry room.

When he returned Kate was finishing up the last few dishes. She could feel his eyes on her again and so she spoke. "What ya thinking about Rick?" It was weird calling him by his first name but at the same time, she liked it. Just another thing that would take some getting used to.

"You, standing in my kitchen, doing dishes." He said to her. She could hear the smile in his voice. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck before whispering in her ear. "I like it." His lips and closeness caused goosebumps to rise on her skin and a blush to creep to her face when she tried to fight the urges he was causing her to feel. Once she had forced the urges back down, she had to think of how she felt about that for a minute. She liked the thought of living with Castle and at the same time she was hesitant. She was independent and he had failed two marriages before after all. She had never pushed before, but now, more than ever, she wanted to know precisely why. _Christ, am I really thinking these things already?_ They hadn't been together twenty-four hours. Yet at the same time, it felt like they had been together all these years.

The fact she had fallen into deep thought was plain as day on her face and so now it had been Castle's turn to ask. "What are _you _thinking about Kate?" His voice startled her from her almost day dream and she wasn't quite sure how to answer.

"I guess everything, so much is changing so fast. I don't know where to begin. It's all a bit overwhelming." She admitted. She finished washing the last dish and let it rest in the dish rack then turned to face Castle. "I'm just so lost." She shook her head and he pulled her into his chest for a long hug.

"One day at a time. Baby steps. We'll get through this together." He reassured her, taking her hands and leading her to the couch. Popcorn was forgotten about for the time being. She could see he was thinking, trying desperately to figure out some way to help. Once he did his eyes lit up a little. "I think what you need is a vacation." He started. "I think we both need a vacation." He continued. "Kate we should go to the Hamptons, just the two of us. You can think everything through without the stress of the city." He got more and more excited as he continued with his plan.

A trip to the Hamptons did sound like just the thing she needed, until she remembered that the only reason they hadn't been bothered by Castle's eccentric mother was because she was already in the Hamptons. "What about your mother?" Kate brought up this valuable point before giving her opinion.

"Oh, I forgot about her." He said disappointment on his face. He pondered for a moment before bouncing back. "I could put her in a resort. I'm sure she wouldn't complain about that. If I explain the situation to her as well I'm sure she'd be all too happy to comply." He smiled at her, satisfied with his solution to what seemed to be the only problem with their trip.

"Okay, you've twisted my arm Castle." She joked in reply. If Martha wasn't going to be too much of a bother than she couldn't she a flaw in his plan. Other than the fact that everyone would want to know what's going on. She could fix that one. "I'll have to tell Lanie I'm going out of town though so the others don't worry. I'll just say I need to go think." She told him satisfied. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't all of the truth either and she didn't want all her friends to know about her and Castle just yet.

"Okay. We can pick up your clothes and stuff from your apartment later today and leave tomorrow morning." Castle finalized the plans and it was set. It was time to take a much deserved break. "Now, about that popcorn." Castle remembered their original plan so he got up and headed into the kitchen. Kate followed to end up in her usual position at the island again. Just then the couple heard a key in the lock of the door. After a moment in popped Alexis.

"Hi Dad." She called into the house as usual until she looked up and into the kitchen. "Detective Beckett, what are you? Oh, never mind." The girl began to question Kate's presence but answered her own question before asking.

"No, what is it?" Kate asked, not sure what the teens intentions had been.

"Well I was going to ask you why you're here, but that's a bit obvious." She replied, a bit of a blush on her cheeks and she clearly wanted to escape the situation before it grew awkward. Castle turned to look to his daughter, wondering how had she figured it out without either of them having even said a word.

"How?" was all Castle and Kate could begin to utter in sync before they got their answer.

"Easy, You're wearing my Dad's clothes." She said to Kate "Doesn't take a detective to figure out you two finally got together with evidence like that." She finished, then grabbed a hand of popcorn from the fresh bowl her father had just placed on the table. She seemed so unaffected by this new development between her father and long time partner. In fact she seemed... well like plain old Alexis. "Just one thing Dad." She started to address her father with that parental tone that made Kate laugh at their often backward relationship. "Please don't pull a me and Ashley. I am so sorry about that." Alexis blushed at the memory of being walked in on by her father while she was making out with her boyfriend on the couch.

Castle and Beckett both laughed, knowing of exactly which incident the teenage girl was referring to. "We'll try not to sweetie but no promises. You won't have to worry for the next week anyways. I'm taking Kate to the Hamptons tomorrow to think and get away from it all." Castle informed his daughter. "And no parties while I'm gone." He said in a joking tone, knowing his daughter to probably be the last teen on earth who needed to hear it.

Alexis laughed at her fathers joke before beginning to head upstairs. "I'm not home long. The girls want to go out shopping I just have to change." She told him as she disappeared around corner.

Castle changed the clothes from the washer to the drying and then brought himself and the bowl of popcorn over to the couch to cuddle with Kate while they began their movie marathon at last. Alexis eventually left to go with her friends and that was that. The day wore on filled with screams, blood, and entrails from the movies. After two or three, they weren't keeping count, they decided to take a break and go get Kate some more clothes for the trip, since hers were now clean. She was a little sad when she changed out of Castle's clothes. She was starting to like how comfy they were and how his smell clung to them but at the same time it just felt good to be back in her blouse and dress pants. They climbed into Castle's red Ferrari and sped off...into New York traffic.

The evening rush had cars backed bumper to bumper. It was days like this that Kate would miss the cherries on her cruiser. Traffic was a bit easier when you were in a cop car and it was an emergency. It was not so today. They may have been in a car with top speeds of more than two-hundred miles an hour, but in New York traffic, it wouldn't change a thing. "God I'm going to miss my cruiser." She said as she stared blankly out the passenger window.

Castle laughed at her statement. "Yeah, me too." They were quiet the rest of the drive to Kate's apartment. Once there, Kate rolled out a suit case, and filled it with some clothes and a few bathing suits, being full aware of where she was headed.

When she came back out, suitcase packed, she found Castle with his head in her fridge. "Kate, what the hell is in here?" He asked curiously and almost disgusted as he pulled out a see through tub that looked like she had been culturing some penicillin. Kate brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, a little embarrassed, before answering.

"I told you Rick, I don't cook much." She walked over to him and took the tub from him and threw it out. When she saw his head was back in the fridge she popped her head in under his to see the damage, now a bit curious herself. Castle grabbed a Styrofoam take out container and began to open it. "No, Rick, don't." She put her hand over his, keeping the lid shut. "Trust me, you don't want to know." She gave him a look that spoke more than words can say as a warning. Guess he didn't hear them. Just before Castle went to drop the container into the garbage can curiosity got the better of him. All Kate heard was a deep gag followed by heavy coughing and then the thunk of something landing in the garbage. "I warned you." She teased him.

"You weren't kidding." He answered between more coughs and gags. Finally the smell hit her as well and a gag escaped her.

"Oh god." She coughed as she went searching for the air freshener. Once she found it she sprayed her kitchen area liberally before tempting another inhale through the nostrils. "That's better." She exhaled with relief. "Now, no more peaking." She told him before they proceeded to clean out the rest of the spoiled things in her fridge witch was pretty much everything. He was only able to nod a reply.

Once that was all finished she watered her plants, checked her mail, and then it was back into the car and back to Castle's for more movies. Just as they were about to settle in for more blood and gore Kate's phone began to ring. She picked it up off the coffee table in front of her to see who it was. Lanie. She could do this. It was actually convenient. It would be just like they planned earlier. Kate slid the accept button on her phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Kate honey? You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do girl." The familiar voice of the M.E. Rang on the other end of the phone. It would seem Esposito turned to his ex, the ever lovely Lanie, for comfort last night and now that he was gone she wanted it straight. He had told her about how they went after Maddox and Kate wound up hanging from the side of the building, her resignation, everything. "But don't you go tellin' him I told you so cause Javi said all I know it he's suspended and you resigned. But seriously honey he told me you and Castle had a fight. Everythin' okay?" Kate was one of Lanie's only "living" friends. The M.E. often joked how quiet her usual crowd is. Because of this, the two had formed a close friendship over the years and Kate would often confide in Lanie for help when it came to Castle. She was one of the first and few that got to hear Kate confess her attraction for the writer. Because of these things Kate felt bad when she had to lie. She would tell her friend everything in time, just not right now.

"Yeah everything is fine." She started. "I just...I don't really want to talk about all that right now. I need to go work some things out Lanie. I'm going to leave town for a bit like I did before. I just need some time to think you know?" She paused hoping her friend would understand.

"Okay, I get it. But I'm worried about you so don't think I wont be calling now and then. You're sure everything is okay?" Lanie asked again, concern in her voice.

"Yeah. Just need some time, that's all. I'll tell you everything once I figure it out, but don't worry. I'll be safe." She reassured her friend. Kate knew part of her friend's fear stemmed from Kate's record of running off and doing the reckless. "Let the others know too okay?" She asked. It was easier if she didn't have to talk to too many people.

"Of course I will Honey. Poor Ryan. Javi won't even talk to him. He did the right thing Kate you better not be mad too." The M.E. was defensive of their friend who did save her life. Kate knew she had been in the wrong that day.

"No, Not at all. If anything, do you think you can thank him for me? I never got the chance to myself." Kate asked her friend for another favor, again hoping she'd understand her lack of want to talk to anyone else.

"Alright honey, I will. You take care of yourself now okay? And don't worry about Castle, he'll come back around in time." This last bit made Kate laugh on the inside. If only she could sit over a bottle of wine and giggle like high school girls over "details" with her friend. Another day.

"Ya, I know. I will. Talk to you in a few days."Kate finished before listening to her friend do the same and clicked the hang up button. Alexis was upstairs on her laptop so they were pretty much alone again. Castle stretched himself out fully on the couch and Kate lay beside him doing the same, his one arm resting on her waist the other under her head like a pillow. Once they were comfortable Castle resumed their blood filled marathon. Kate smiled at how natural it felt to just lay here with him like this. Like this is where she was supposed to be the whole time. As the movie wore on, the impact of all the emotional drama over the past few days began to sink back into her and she had to fight to keep her eyes open. She eventually failed and fell asleep in Castle's arms.

Once the movie had ended Castle finally spoke up. "You want to watch another one or you want to go to bed?" He asked her to no response. He smiled at this peaceful Beckett next to him on his couch. "Guess its bed." He chuckled to no one before turning off the T.V. And such. Then he carefully slid his legs under hers and cradled her in his arms before picking her up and carrying her to his bedroom. He lay her down gently on his bed before beginning to undress himself. As he unbuttoned the dress shirt he changed into when they went to Kate's house he heard a quiet moan from behind him. He turned around to see a sleepy Kate watching him undress tentatively. "Oh is that what you're after?" He asked. A devious grin appeared on her face and she didn't need to answer.

He began by taking a far too long time for Kate's liking to unbutton her blouse. He was teasing her and she both loved it and hated it. Kate Beckett may have liked being in charge in their relationship, but now and then, she would let him do this to her. This slow torment till she couldn't take it anymore, demanding he give her what she want. Then worshiping her body slowly till she climaxed and he joined her in pure ecstasy. They lay there, sweaty and beat, tangled up in each others bodies as the ecstasy faded to the most restful sleep Kate had experienced in a very long time.

_A/N: I didn't want to get too graphic there because every time I write something graphic I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like watching porn and I can't get this filthy grin and blush off my face. That __and who can't think of their own awesome smutty scene really?_

_Edit A/N: Due to high demand, the next chapter has smut :) I may eventually finish writing this scene too for fun.  
_


	5. To the Hamptons

_A/N: The readers asked for it so I delivered. I give to you in this chapter...(drum roll) SMUT! In all it's smutty glory. And now for a cold shower!_

The next morning they gathered up their luggage and headed to the Hamptons. As Castle predicted, his mother was more than happy to oblige the new couple some privacy away from it all. "But of course darling, you know its no trouble." Martha sang to them in her usual way of speaking. "I would have been fine with just going home anyways." She whispered to Kate then continued. "But since you offered, I would love to go the serenity spa resort." She told her son. Yup, this was his mother.

"What ever you'd like mother it's on me." He told her. Castle didn't care what it took. He was just happy to be out of that city and alone with Kate. He squeezed her hand gently, a silent I love you between them and she squeezed back.

"Oh, I'm just so happy you two are finally together. You know, I don't think I've ever seen my boy so smitten with a woman before." Martha tried to gush more but her son cut her off

"Mother." He interjected as he started to get embarrassed.

"Yes, but of course. I'll be leaving you two love birds to nest. Don't misbehave too much." The jovial woman called before giving the blushing pair of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek and letting them be, off to their very own serenity.

It was still only mid afternoon and Castle couldn't wait to see Kate in a bikini again. Or out of it for that matter. Their luggage already inside, Castle scooped up his new lover and carried her into the house, laughing the whole way. "Welcome to my beach house getaway." He told her as they crossed the threshold. He quickly gave her a tour, all the while carrying her around his house knowing exactly where he really wanted to go. He finally reached the master bedroom and lay her down on the bed. Now it was really time to claim this place as theirs. "Oh the things I'm going to do to you Kate Beckett." He whispered in her ear as he climbed on top of her, but this time she had a surprise in wait for him.

"Not if I do them to you first." She whispered back seductively before grabbing his shoulders and rolling him over on the bed so she straddled him. Kate placed a deep hot kiss on his lips, not letting him have a chance to fight back. All he could do was give into her torment and let his hands wander. She deepened the kiss further, their lips moving together, she let her tongue glide through to play and dance with his. When she finally ended the kiss it left the pair breathless and hungry for more. Castle looked up at her, passion burning in his eyes as he was forced to watch Kate undress him. With each button of his she undid, she would place a hot, lingering kiss there, her breath cascading over his chest, causing Castle to shiver. He shook his shirt from his shoulders leaving his upper body completely bare. He wanted to be able to fight back. Just as he was about to his full body tensed with pleasure. She had unbuttoned his pants and slid her hand down under the waist.

A moan escaped Castle as she grabbed hold of him and began to glide her hand up and down his full length, all the while she let her tongue stroke just behind his ear. "Oh God Kate." He half sighed. How had he ended up with such an amazing woman for a lover. She seemed to know exactly how to drive him crazy and exactly when to move on to a new area. Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore she pulled her hand out and started to remove his pants and boxers.

"Oh no you don't" He said to her playfully before sliding out from under her and rolling them back over so he was back on top. He hadn't had his chance to have fun with her yet. Kate laughed at his sudden display of dominance. So that was how it was going to be this time. This would be fun. Castle wasted no time in removing her blouse and bra, all the while he placed hot kisses on her neck, biting gently every so often. A moan now escaped her and he knew he was starting to win this little battle they had going on. He decided that was his cue to start moving south and he let his tongue and lips guide him against her skin toward her breasts. Taking a nipple gently between his lips, he let his tongue massage it in slow sensual swirls, flicking it every so often. The other breast was being occupied by one of his free hands and he let his thumb bush lightly against the darker raised skin, hardening under his touch. Kate's hand shot up to lace her fingers in Castle's hair keeping him there against her, desire threatening to boil over. Castle was only about to make it worse. He decided he was finished with her breasts and would go farther south now. While he brushed his lips lightly against her stomach, hips, and sensitive sides, he began to remove her pants and underwear. Now the real fun would begin. Castle slid her legs over his shoulders allowing him access to her core. He allowed his tongue to glide in and explore her sweet, soft flesh. Stroking her slowly and powerfully, he watched her react as she bit her bottom lip, eyes shut, trying to contain herself but she failed.

"Oh Rick." She moaned out as she threw back her head, arching her back and gripped the sheets of his bed. He had picked up the speed with his tongue, darting it in and out of her and her body reflected it. He then decided he would deepen her pleasure more. He wanted to feel her so brought down his hand and gently slid his middle finger in to join his tongue and reveled in the wetness of her. He began to stroke quickly with his finger to counter the new slowness of his tongue against the outside and the contrast clearly drove her crazy. He could feel her tighten around his finger and the moistness increase as he brought her closer, but he wasn't about to let her get there just yet. As her hips began to buck against him, he knew she could only take so much more of this torment.

"I want you." She confessed to him in almost a moan. "Please." she begged him now. It was like music to his ears and Castle was happy to oblige. He quickly removed the rest of his clothes and brought himself back up so that his eyes met her's. He smiled down at her, then cupping her cheek and kissing her tenderly, he entered her. His head swam as soon as he felt her warm, wet body tighten around him and he buried his face in her neck to recover.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he began to slowly thrust in and out of her, finding the rhythm that would bring them over the edge and back.

"I love you too."She whispered but was cut off when another moan escaped her as Castle bit her neck. She dug her fingers into the strong muscles of his back, gliding her hands up and down his body while her hips bucked against his. Their pace was slow and sensual, they worshiped each other, bringing one another closer to the edge. They continued to kiss each other, deeply and passionately, not knowing how long the other would be able to last. Hearts raced and sweat glistened off their bodies as their pace began to quicken. They were both desperate for release. Kate wrapped her legs tight around him and rolled over again. She wanted to finish them off this time. Now straddling him, he was still inside her and she sat up, allowing for deeper access. Castle was caught off guard by this and he let out a deep throaty groan. She smiled at this, she loved pleasing him. Her body enveloped him completely and the way she rocked her hips back and forth, she grew tighter and tighter and Castle knew she was getting close. He sat up, locking her mouth with his and his hands were all over her. One held her body closer to his, the other cupped and massaged her breast. This change in position allowed an increase in her pleasure ten fold and she couldn't handle it. She moaned openly into his mouth and she was there.

She buried her head into his shoulder and neck, trying to muffle herself. Holding him, gripping his body for support as she lost all control. She called out "Oh Rick, Oh god." Energized by his victory over her, he roll her onto her back and had his way. He could feel her pulse and insides tighten as he carried her orgasm on. He was gliding in and out of her with such force and speed with no resistance other then her body's muscles. She overwhelmed him. Her heat, the moistness, the tightness, he couldn't handle it all and he was gone. He grabbed her hips and drove himself in deep and hard as he reached his own climax, finally slowing his thrust to match his waves of pleasure pulsing within her. Satisfied at last he collapsed on her, completely spent.

After several minutes of panting and starry eyed stares at each other, they decided to get dressed and go for a swim in the pool. Castle didn't take long to get ready and was in the pool quickly. He swam around in the shoulder deep water waiting for his goddess to join him. He watched as walked out onto the patio in the beige bikini he once saw her in before. "You look absolutely gorgeous." He told her, obviously still beaming from sex. To his surprise she went and sat in the shade under an umbrella on a lounger, one of his Derek Storm novels in hand. "You aren't going to join me?" He asked kind of hurt.

"Not really in the mood for a swim right now." She told him not looking up from her book. "I'll join you later though." She continued, sensing the hurt in his earlier question.

Castle wasn't about to have any of this. He was going to go swimming with Kate whether she wanted to or not. He crawled out of the pool and sauntered over to her, a mischievous grin on his face. Kate looked up at him with a questioning look. She was smart enough to put the book on the table next to her before asking. "Rick, what are you doing?" He didn't let her finish her question before scooping her up in his arms and he started heading back for the pool.

"Rick, No. I said I didn't want to go swimming!" She protested kicking and struggling the whole way. "Richard!" She screamed as he jumped into the water without a word, being sure to dunk both of them completely under the waters surface. When he brought them back up his bangs were stuck against his forehead and he had that stupid grin on his face from ear to ear. Kate stared at him, here eyes narrow and unamused. Without a word she squirted a mouthful of water at his face. He wrinkled his nose closing his eyes as the water hit his face. "You really are a dick rick." she said with a chuckle. He burst out into laughter at her statement. He was distracted. Now it was Kate's turn. A devious grin appeared on her face and she dunked him unexpectedly. Castle surfaced sputtering but once he recovered the same grin returned to his face and he declared war.

"It's on!" He said as he pushed a wave of water at her. She splashed back but he had ducked under the water and swam under her legs. He then stood up with her on his shoulders. She protested in shock and he laughed harder as he fell backwards, dunking them under the water again. They continued this water war until they both were getting noticeably tired. "Truce?" He said to her questioningly.

"Truce." She replied and swam over to him, now not being all that against a dip in the pool. She let her legs wrap around his waist and her arms laced around his neck as they floated around the pool together. "So Castle" She began. "What have you got planed for me while were here cause if I know you, you have something up your sleeve." She gave him a grin at knowing her partner better than he thought.

Castle was in fact surprised Kate had caught on to this habit of his, but never the less would he let it affect him. "Oh you clever girl you learn quick." He said to her delighted that she at least seemed interested in what ever it might be. "I'm taking you out to dinner tonight. Lovely little place on the beach. Made reservations yesterday." He bragged to her, that cheeky grin on his face she loved so much. He had booked it specifically so the sun would be setting while they ate. It would be perfect. Everything was always perfect now that they were together.

"Well in that case I have a surprise for you." She replied. Castle quirked an eyebrow questioningly at her. "Remember that red dress you like so much?" She asked and he nodded excitement creeping up on his face. "I brought it." She said with a grin.

Castle kissed her and wrapped his arms around her ecstatically. "Thank you" He cheered.

"No, thank you, Rick,." She said back to him her tone growing serious with gratitude. He knew there was no point in trying to fight it. She would see herself as in his debt for a while. They floated around the pool a little longer before deciding to get out. Kate went back to reading the Derek Storm novel while Castle brought out his laptop so he could put some of the last touches on the next Nikki Heat novel. It was comfortable for them like this, to just sit in silence and exist with each other. It just felt so natural, so right. They spent the rest of the afternoon like that in their places until it was time for dinner.

They went and had a shower together to get the chlorine off their skin and out of their hair. Kate noticed that castle was starting to get a bad case of the scruffies that needed to be fixed. "Castle where's your razor?" She asked him. He looked at her in complete bewilderment.

"Why can't you use your own?" He asked not understanding what was going on.

"No, you're getting scruffy. I want to shave you." She told him, her and out waiting for the razor. She had already found some shower cream sitting on the edge of the tub.

Castle was unsure of this. Letting someone else shave you was a pretty big deal for a lot of guys. Sharp razor blades near the neck, just a little scary when it wasn't you in control. His other wives had asked to before and he out right denied them. No way were they getting that close to vital arteries with a sharp object. But Kate he had trusted with his life before. He knew he was safe and so he handed her his razor. She smiled as she took it.

"Thank you." She said. He wondered if she was aware how much trust he just placed in her. "Chin up" She said as she began to work away. Castle was fascinated with just how gentle and careful she was to make sure she didn't cut him, taking it slow in all the proper places. He wondered how she learned to shave a man before or if it just came as instinct to some women. "All finished." She said to him. He didn't realize it but he had been day dreaming about her again. She startled him out of it and he finished rinsing off. Then they got dressed and ready to go.

The table Castle reserved for them was on a white patio with navy blue table cloths to accent the colors of the ocean and beach. Candle lit of course, Castle always knew how to make a setting. Beside them was the ocean and the sun, turning the sky brilliant shades of purple and orange as it set on the day. Castle watched as Kate stared out at the sun and the ocean, deep in though. "What's on your mind?" He asked her concerned.

Kate tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before answering. "Castle, what do you think I should do?" She asked him flat out. He was shocked, both by her bluntness and the fact she was bringing this up already. "I just want an opinion, a starting point." She continued as he stared blankly at her.

He thought for a minute of all the things Kate would be good at. There were lots. He'd stick close to home for now though. "You could be a lawyer?" He suggested "I think you'd be good at it." He continued.

Kate shook her head "Nah, I couldn't do it. Especially if I had to switch teams" She told him.

"Prison Guard?" He tried again. Sticking with the law theme. "I think you'd have fun keeping them locked up."

Kate shook her head more furiously this time. "No way Castle. I have too much of a rep on the inside to work it." She reminded him. This rep often came in handy but also worked against her at times and it wasn't worth the risk.

Castle paused for a moment. She was just so good at being a detective but he didn't know how she'd react. He'd go for it anyways. "You could always be a sexy detective." He said to her all nonchalant as he took a bite of his steak. "The world needs more of them." He continued and smiled at her. A smile creeped up on her face as well. "The one-two isn't the only precinct in the country Kate, it's not even the only one in the city." He finished hoping she understood his point.

"I know, but I can't leave Javi and Kevin to deal with her alone." She stated. They silently both came to the understanding that Gates was the only problem when it came to Kate being a detective. That and how dangerously close it could bring her to death but that was something they had gotten used to and since she would now let her mothers case lye, there didn't seem to be as big a threat as before. "I'll think about it more, but I guess it's a start." She said and she finished off her wine.

"One day at a time Kate." Castle reminded her. "One day at a time." Castle took her hand before continuing. "I Just want you to know that what ever you decide, even if that's returning to the twelfth, I support you one hundred percent." Kate nodded her silent reply and went back to thinking. This was something Castle wasn't going to be able to help with as much. She had to figure this out on her own. However, it was nice to know that someone supported you no matter what happened ans she was utterly thankful for arresting this childish author one hot afternoon. Where she'd be today without him she didn't know. She didn't want to.

Once they were done eating Castle paid and tipped the waiter and they went home. In the car they decided they would just call it a night. They were both tired from traveling and other fun. More fun could wait till tomorrow. As they lay in bed, their naked bodies entwined, they wished that everyday could be just like this one. Living in complete and utter serenity.

_A/N: If you enjoyed the smut let me know. If you do, I may go back and edit some more smut in where it belongs just for fun and because smut will be dying down now as the plot thickens! Thanks again for the reviews and encouragement!_


	6. It All Comes Crashing Down

They had spent the past few days just reading and writing and enjoying each others company. There was also the tons of really hot sex. Couldn't forget that. For Castle and Beckett, it seemed they were in paradise. Castle awoke alone in his bed this morning and panic hit him right away. That is till he smelt the amazing smell of Coffee, eggs, and could it be? Bacon? Castle jumped out of bed at the realization of this last smell and dashed off to the kitchen, throwing a bathrobe on as he did so.

"Good morning, beautiful." He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as she worked her way around the kitchen cooking breakfast for him.

"Morning" She replied, cheerier than he'd ever seen her in his life.

"You made bacon." He said as he sat at the island. "Best girlfriend ever." He stated as he reached out for a piece but his hand was smacked by Kate with the spatula

"Wait till everything's ready." She chastised him as she returned to the scrambled eggs that were almost done. As she dumped the portions out onto plates, Castle went to prep himself a coffee then returned to the dinning table where Kate took breakfast.

"Thank you." He said sitting down and she smiled a silent you're welcome at him as they began to eat. Today was planned to be like the past few days and so they would tan and read in the morning sun. Then take a dip in the afternoon. Dinner was on the fly whether they went out or stayed in and the evening, well they kept themselves occupied. Of course they would keep themselves occupied whenever the need seemed to arise through out the day as well. Breakfast finished and dishes washed in a team effort to speed up the process, they went and laid out on the back deck by the pool in their usual patio loungers.

Just as Castle was getting to a good part in one of his fellow author's stories that he was reviewing, his phone rang. It was Alexis. Probably just checking up so he answered it. "Hi Sweety, what's up?" He asked her.

His daughters voice on the other side of the phone sounded scared and distressed. "Dad, Hand the phone to Beckett, Ryan is here. He says it's an emergency." She told him quickly.

"What?" He began to ask but was interrupted by Kevin Ryan himself.

"Castle, We have a problem. We have another body. Guys name is Smith. Prints at the scene are a match. Were positive, Maddox did it." He said cool and calmly though you could tell there was panic behind him. "Please tell me you and Beckett are safe." He asked the worry now growing apparent in the detectives voice. A lump rose into Castle's throat. If they got Smith, no one was protecting Beckett anymore. She was fair game in their eyes. Hell she had been begging for it. "Castle?" The detective asked the silence.

"Yeah, I just.. Uh...That's really bad." He started. Not quite knowing what to say. "I have her safe. We're in the Hamptons." Castle told the detective. He was happy Ryan didn't bother asking the obvious questions like what she was doing with him there but at the same time he wanted anything to take his mind off this new development. They would be safe here right? Maddox didn't know where they were did he? How easily could he find out? "Here, you have to talk to Kate." He told his friend needing a minute to think. Then he looked up to see a very concerned looking Kate Beckett staring back at him. She wasn't dumb. She knew something was very wrong. "It's Ryan." said Castle before handing the phone to his partner.

Kate took it hesitantly, unsure of what she was about to hear. "Hello?" She asked almost sheepishly. Ryan explained the situation and Castle watched as Kate went through the different expressions of realization. "Ya, we'll stay out here for a while till you guys figure out whats going on back home, safer that way, I totally agree." She told her former coworker but before hanging up she made sure to let her friend know that she appreciated him. "Hey Ryan? Thanks for having my back. I'd be dead without you." they said their goodbyes and she hung up. She seemed oddly relaxed. Quite the opposite of Castle who literally jumped a minute later when it was Kate's phone that began to ring. Lanie's face was the one to appear. Kate answered her phone still not having a chance to talk to Castle about the new development in their lives

"Hey Lanie" She answered relaxed. Clearly not expecting news to have traveled that quickly.

"Girl, Ryan tells me you're shacked up in the Hamptons with writer boy? Is that your idea of _thinkin' bout everythin'_. Tell me it's true honey, cause were all scared for ya back home here." Her friend was loud and proud as usual. Nothing was secret in their little family and if Ryan was looking for Kate and had bad news it was no wonder Lanie found out when it turned a little better. Especially since Ryan and Esposito weren't speaking last they were in New York.

"Yes, I'm with Castle in the Hamptons." She told her friend. Kate had to pull her ear away from the phone for the excited noises Lanie made on the other side.

"Kate, It's been a long time comin' that I could say this, but sweety, you bring a whole new meanin' to curlin' up in bed with your favorite author." The M.E. joked through the phone.

"Lanie!" Kate exclaimed embarrassed about the knowledge of her being a huge fan of the author long before that fateful day she arrested him, leading her down a path to one day fall in love with him in a whole new way.

Castle laughed as he could hear both sides of the conversation going on beside him. Lanie's voice could carry. He finally started to relax again. Leaning back on the lounger he picked up his book of the table. Kate began to recall the events of the day she left the precinct and ended up in Castles bed to Lanie. The full details just like she promised herself. Seeing Kate blush and smile as she recalled all the events of that day calmed Castle a bit and he decided he could go back to reading. Kate and him would be able to talk about Ryan's conversation after. For now she could have giggle time.

Castle picked up his book again and began to read, a heavy sigh escaping him as the adrenaline and fear finally left his body. Kate now sat on the edge of her lounger, getting ready to head inside. Lanie probably wanted dirty details and Kate didn't think Castle needed to hear them. As Kate sat up, Castle saw something out of the corner of his eye. A flash of light or something. His head shot instinctively towards it and then he saw it again. A little flash. His heart flew back into his throat as he knew he had no time to react. They'd been found.

Castle tackled Kate to the pool deck as he heard the sound of the gun, knocking the phone from her hands. Chairs and tables toppling, Kate got to her feet, low on the ground with Castle as they tried to scramble inside. More shots went off. Maddox was determined to take care of the both of them this time. Instinctively, Castle followed Kate to hide between the island and the cupboards in the kitchen, providing the most cover. Searing pain shot through his stomach and chest and he knew he was in trouble. He looked down and his hands were red and shaking, warm blood pooled out onto them from his chest.

"K...Kate." His voice was scared. She turned to face him suddenly and was horrified with what she saw. Using his body as a shield, Castle had taken two bullets for her. One in the lower back out the stomach and one through his upper back and out his chest. "Can't breath." was all he could get out in a faint terrified voice. He coughed up more blood and this only terrified him more. He was going into shock. If Kate didn't get medics on him quick he was going to die.

"Oh god, Castle no." was all she could say to him. She flew to him pressing her hands against the wounds trying to stop the bleeding as she began to panic. He looked at her with a pleading in his eyes. No words could describe the fire he felt in his lungs and his gut. He was suffocating.

"Help" he sputtered out with more blood. If only there were some way how.

"Stay with me Rick." she begged panic in her voice. He could feel his eyes growing heavy and he couldn't fight it. The world was closing in around him. "No Stay with me damn it." The harshness of her voice seemed to reach him. "I have to get my phone so I can call for help but it's outside. I need you to try and stay with me till I make it back okay?" She asked him as she reached into the bottom of the oven for something big and metal to be used as a shield. A thick baking sheet would have to do.

"No. Kate." He tried to protest He wanted to tell her not to risk going back out there but the blood made it hard to speak so he shook his head as she spoke. This made him dizzy and it became harder to focus on her face "I Love you." He told her his voice cracking as he started to cry, biting his lower lip as he slowly came to terms with this being the end. It wasn't fair. They had only finally just gotten together. They hadn't even been together a full week.

"Oh Rick, I love you too, but don't talk like that" She began to cry too. This couldn't be the end. Not like this.

"Tell Alexis I love her too." He forced out. If this was the end he had to get it all out while he could.

"Don't you talk like that Richard Castle. You stay with me. Don't you go when I just got you." She begged him but had to straighten herself out. She had to be in control, for him. "I'll be right back, I promise." She started. "I'm going to get you through this. It's going to be okay. We'll be together, always." and without another moment to waste she kissed his forehead and dashed back out to the pool.

The image of her before him was now no more than a blur. He felt the kiss on his forehead and tried to reach out for her, to hold her one last time, but his arms wouldn't listen. "No" He tried to call after her but he was too weak and all that came out was silence. It was too late. She had already left. He chocked on more blood as he tried to hold on like she asked, but then he heard it, more gunshots. "Kate!" He screamed after her at the top of his lungs but this made things worse. His sight left him quickly and his eyes fell shut. No fight left in him, he faded into the darkness.

_A/N: Just a short one for the sake of the cliffhanger. That and I've really just wanted to get the plot ball rolling in this one. Yaay for plot. _


	7. Guilt

Kate couldn't think about the current condition of her partner as she would dive for their literal life line. She kept her self low and gave herself a few seconds of deep breathing to clear her mind. Get the phone. That was the task at hand here. One last deep breath, she exhaled slowly, and she was off. She stayed low, exposing as little of her body as possible. She held the cookie sheet up for protection. Though odds of it stopping a sniper bullet were very low, it at least provided cover so her vitals were harder to target. She quickly picked up the phone from the ground, diving and rolling behind the knocked sideways table for cover. Gun fire rang out, but thank god, so did the sound of sirens. Someone else had heard the gunfire. That would scare him off for sure. A hole in the table indicated she was lucky she wasn't hit and the bullet had flown past her head just to the left of her. Knowing Maddox couldn't waste any more time or he'd be caught, she tumble dove back into the house and rushed back to Castle.

She found him slumped against the cupboards where she had left him but he was limp, his jaw hung slack, eyes closed. She fell to her knees, eyes filled with tears immediately "Oh God, please no." She whispered afraid to touch him. "Rick?" She asked as if he was supposed to give an answer and she crawled up to him. "Castle, no." she wimpered. She had to check his vitals, had to know. She put the phone down beside her, then reached her hand up to his neck and felt for his pulse. It was very weak, but he was alive. She then raised her ear to his mouth and could feel very faint breathing. Kate wiped tears from her eyes and suddenly her phone caught her attention.

"Kate, oh god what's going on? Kate? Answer please?" It was the voice of the M.E. on the phone screaming for her. She had heard everything and was forced to listen helplessly. Kate picked up the phone, panic rising in her again. She was losing her head, all of this was too much.

"Lanie Castle's been shot." She sputtered out quickly. "Twice." She croaked finally, breaking down into tears again. In all the years they had been partners, she had tried so hard to protect him and keep him safe. When he got the Kevlar vest with "Writer" on the back she had played up annoyed but was really relived. It was just one more line of protection for when he wouldn't listen. But now, she had failed him and that guilt ached her to her bones.

"Okay, I called police from a land line they should be there soon. Where's he been shot sweety?" The M.E. was quick to respond in an emergency and had the message relayed in no time.

"Yeah I heard the sirens. In the back but it exited his chest and stomach. It's bad Lanie I don't think he's going to make it." She choked on the end of her sentence.

"Katherine Beckett you get a hold of yourself this instant or that man is going to die." The M.E. was harsh but could tell she needed to be. Her friend had lost it.

Kate swallowed hard but understood. A weak "Okay." was all she could muster up.

"Now, I am going to get off the phone with you. You are going to inform the paramedics where you are and keep pressure on his wounds. You with me?" The M.E. instructed her, cool and calm, and Kate was thankful for it. It brought her back her focus and she knew what she needed to do.

"Okay, yeah." She said calmly. "I'll call you after." She told her friend quickly.

"Good girl." Lanie said sensing the change of tone in Kate's voice indicated she had her head back. "Now Javi is with me. I'm sending him to go get Ryan and little Castle... Don't you argue with me Javier Esposito. It is not the time. Castle's been shot. Now Go!" Kate could hear the M.E. command their friend. "Now, you go too honey. Do your thing. We'll be in touch." and with that the two women hung up their phones and went to work.

Kate immediately got a hold of the paramedics and stayed on the line via speaker phone till they arrived. She kept her hands planted firmly against his chest but there was so much blood. It scared her. He was so pale he almost looked dead as all color had drained from his face. Her hands began to shake as she was losing it again. This couldn't be happening. It was a dream. A nightmare. The sound of the Medics at the door brought her back. She shot up and ran to get to them. They rushed in with all their gear and Kate was forced to watch as they loaded him up. She broke down again. An officer had to hold her back as the ambulance drove off. She wasn't allowed to ride with him and would have to follow in squad car. She screamed for him, unable to take what was happening anymore. Then she collapsed into the arms of the restraining officer having given up. The older male officer picked her up of the ground and helped her get her feet till he could guide her to his cruiser and they followed in hot pursuit.

Once there, Kate rushed through guards and other hospital staff. She had to get to him, to see him. She rounded a corner and found him being wheeled into an ER operating room. In that moment, time stopped for her. He had flat-lined. "No" was all she could utter before the guards were on her, removing her, kicking and screaming. "Castle!" she screamed now inconsolable. The hospital guards took her to a small five by five room used for talking to families, crisis victims, and in this case, solitary confinement.

Kate had lost all senses. They had taken her mother. It took her years to be able to move on from that but she was trying. They tried to kill her. She could deal with that. She was willing to throw her life on the line for this before. But then she did want to live, wanted a real life and he showed that to her. Now they were taking him away from her. That was the one thing she couldn't handle. She screamed at no one, smashing her fists against the walls, causing small dents to appear. There were already a few from others who had been confined so why not add a few more. She finally collapsed into a chair, sobbing. She had been defeated and this was all her fault. Whats worse was the more she thought about it, the deeper the realization became just how much this was her fault. If she had have listened to him and stopped when he told her. "Oh god what have I done." She said to herself in the silent room.

The older police officer who drove her here had been keeping guard at the door and when he noticed she had settled down, he decided to go in and see how she was doing. "Kate?" The man asked hesitantly. "You okay?" He asked since she seemed to not be lashing out at the world anymore.

Kate just shook her head no. The officer knew what she meant though and sat down on a chair across from her. "Now don't you worry. We're gunah catch whoever did this and..." He began the usual spiel but Kate couldn't fall for that speech. Not when she'd delivered it so many times. She cut him off venom in her tone.

"Don't you dare try and give me any of that bull crap." She told the officer. She knew how it really was. This guy had no clue what he was up against. "He's a sniper and he's tried to get me before. I'm a former detective. He's been hired to kill me." She snapped at him.

The officer was taken back by this information. She knew more about this case then he did, more about the shooter than their team would probably ever be able to find out. "I'm going to need a statement from you and everything you know, when you're ready." He told her, now understanding the situation a little better as everything sank into place. He wasn't finished with Kate yet though. "There's an elderly woman out there who's pretty distraught. Says her sons been shot and she wants to speak to his girlfriend. I'm assuming that's you?" The officer asked though he was pretty sure since Castle was the only gunshot victim in the past little while. Kate sat up. She had completely forgot his mother was still in town. Fear shot through her, would his mother blame her for this? It was her fault after all. The officer must have seen her reaction because of his next question. "You okay to go talk to her? Or would you prefer I keep her away?" He was trying to be understanding and sympathetic. Kate would have to apologize for snapping at him.

"No, I can see her." She told him and the officer started to get up. "Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, for snapping at you like that. I'm just..." She finished her sentience as a heavy sigh escaped her. She didn't know what she was anymore. Lost just didn't seem to cover it.

"Don't worry about it." The cop told her with a smile before opening the door to let her out. The hospital guards eyed her eerily, waiting for her to explode again. It felt weird being so heavy watched. Kate didn't have much time to think about it before Martha noticed her.

"Kate, What on earth has happened, are you Okay? Alexis said Richards been shot? Is it sever?" the questions came flying from Castle's mother and Kate honestly didn't have the heart to answer.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear to buy her some time but there was no other way to put it. She started to cry again, tears tricking down her cheeks as she broke the news to Martha. "It's really bad." Kate sputtered out and looked down at her hands and clothes covered in his now drying blood. "It was the sniper, Martha I'm so sorry." and she broke down again. To her surprise Martha Rogers wrapped her in her arms and rocked her back and forth. She seemed to hold no resentment towards Kate for what had happened. It dawned on her then that Castle was a lot more like his mother than he cared to admit. They were both so understanding, and compassionate. Kate was thankful his mother was here.

She spent the next several hours recalling the events of that morning to police and Martha, and a nurse was kind enough to find her something to wear and take her to wash up. Eventually, the others arrived from the city and the crowd of them now huddled in the waiting room waiting for news. All except Alexis and Martha. They now occupied the very same room Kate was confined in earlier. When Alexis arrived she exploded her full red headed furry on Kate.

"Where is she. I'm going to kill her!" Alexis had shouted as she came through the hospital doors. Ryan and Esposito on either side of her trying to calm her down. It was nice to see they'd pulled together for the emergency. If only there wasn't the emergency. When Alexis did find her she blew up even more.

"You." She shouted at her. "After all my Dad has done for you. This is your fault! He's going to die because of you!" Her voice cracked with rage and grief.

"Alexis" Ryan tried to intervene but she wouldn't listen

"No! I wont put up with this!" She screamed. "She shouldn't be here. Dad shouldn't be here. It's because of her he is. I won't let you take him from me!" and with that Alexis lashed out trying to hit Kate and make her own anguish seem a little less. Ryan and Esposito grabbed hold of the young girl's shoulders and picked her up off the ground flailing and screaming.

"Over here." Called one of the hospital guards, indicating Kate's former temporary prison. The boys took her there to cool off. Martha now sat with her trying to help but from the sounds of the muffled yells coming from the room, it wasn't going well. The rest of them were waiting. Ryan tried to get Kate to eat something but to no avail. She just shook her head and stared at the tiled hospital floor. She hadn't spoken a word since Alexis yelled at her. She couldn't. Not when she knew Alexis was right and had every right to hate her for it.

Lanie had tried to consul her. "Alexis is just scared, she'll come around." She told Kate, patting her friends knee but nothing. "Castle will make it through. He's a fighter. He never gave up on you after all right?" She said with a kind smile. Lanie's words were meant to comfort, but it hurt Kate more as she remembered how she'd pushed him to give up on her only about a week ago. Now Lanie gave up. She knew there was no helping her. She decided to go see where Javi had wondered off to instead. Leave Kate to be Kate.

Kate sat leaning forward, elbows resting on her knees, her head in her hands, still silent. Castle had been in surgery for hours with absolutely no news and all this waiting was making her eat away at herself. Bit by bit running the words through her head. _Your fault._ _You failed._ _He's better without you. You should have never met him. How stupid could you have been. _The walls were coming back up again but in a whole new way. With each self degrading thought, Beckett placed a brick around her heart until she could wall it back up again in an attempt to protect the ones she loved and herself.

"Kate Beckett?" The voice was unfamiliar and brought her out of her inward spiral to a dark place. The construction of the walls stopped for now. Her head shot up to see a doctor in a white lab coat holding a clip board. "Somebody's calling for you." He said with a smile on his face that could mean only one thing. He made it. The rest of the group let out a collective sigh of relieve and hugged each other and Kate. Esposito helped her up to encourage she go to him.

"Well take care of his family. Go to him. You heard the doc. He wants you." He reassured her and with a nod and a few more hugs, Kate followed the doctor down a few halls to where Castle was recovering.

_A/N: So ya, Crap now ensues. I have lots of really big and little plans plot wise so well have to see where they take me. Honestly, with all the plot I've come up with, the story is beginning to write itself. Don't worry there will be more smut eventually. Let the poor man heal first. While you wait, if I'm bored or stuck one day I do plan on going back and writing the scene I ended so abruptly as I felt the blush creep up on my face. Thanks again for follows and reviews. You guys drive me! Keep reviewing! I'll write more later! _


	8. Forgiveness

"Where is she. I need to know she's okay." Castle was arguing with a nurse. It seemed he had been inconsolable once he came to and now he was being a detriment to his own health.

"Mister Castle, please calm down. Your girlfriend is fine." The nurse had been trying her best to ease his worry but he wouldn't listen. The last thing he remembered was Kate leaving his side, then gunshots, then blackness. Until he saw her with his own eyes he couldn't believe she was safe. She rounded the corner with the doctor and his expression immediately softened.

"Oh god Kate, I thought he got you." He said reaching out for her and she ran to him throwing her arms around him, paying mind to be gentle. Castle carefully held her close to him. Nothing could keep them apart. "I'm so glad you're okay." He whispered to her. As he stroked her hair he heard her laughing between sobs. "What?" he asked confused.

She pulled back and wiped her cheeks before answering. "Rick, how can you even say that? Look at you." She choked at him, gesturing with her hand at the fact _he_ was in the hospital bed. Castle didn't seem to get it. He thought she had been shot and he couldn't protect her. What was so strange?

"You're the one who was shot and you have the nerve to tell me _you_ were worried." She explained. The drugs clearly made him slow. Cheery, but slow. "I thought you died. You were limp and so pale and there was so much blood. Oh god Castle, so much blood. I watched you flat-line." She broke down into sobs again and he scooted over so she could sit next to him on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around her best he could in his condition and tried to comfort her. "Hey, It's okay. I'm okay, your okay. We're both okay and we're going to get this son of a bitch, together." He told her. But there in lied the problem. Over the past several hours while Castle was fighting for his life, Kate Beckett was carefully building back up her walls. Protecting herself mostly for this next part.

"No, Castle." She shook her head. "This is my fight and I won't let you or Alexis or anyone else I care about be affected by this anymore." She continued to cry. "I'm so sorry." She started up again but then her emotion disappeared behind the wall as she swallowed hard and continued. "But they've made it war Rick and I'm not going to let you all follow me." Her voice was determined and stubborn. That same scowl was on her face last time they had a fight about this topic. This panicked Rick. Not the walls. Not when he had just broken through them. But Kate's new walls were weak, the cement not yet dried. Castle needed to break them and break them now.

Castle took Kate's hands in his and stared deep into her eyes unblinking when he started to speak. "Kate, I will follow you to the ends of the Earth to take this guy down whether you let me or not." His tone was calm and soothing, yet sturdy and so sure. "I know what the risks are Kate and I've decided to take them. _Me_." He continued but he knew this wouldn't sway her. He needed more. She was shutting down again. She pulled away and looked down at her hands in her lap before interrupting his speech.

"No. Castle think of your daughter. She hates me because of this. I wont let you..." Castle stopped her putting a finger to her lips then tilted her chin so her gaze met his again.

"Kate you're right. They have made it a war but they've brought it to _my_ doorstep. _I'm_ involved in this war now too. This is _our_ war now, but we can't fight it alone. We need help this time. All the help we can get." It wasn't enough. Then he found the words he knew would get through to her, even if just for now.

"Kate, a wise friend once told me, for us there is no victory. There's only the battles and if you're lucky you find a place to make your stand and if you're really lucky you find someone willing to stand with you. They've brought us a battle. We'll find a place to make our stand. Let me stand with you Kate, please." The wrecking ball that was Castle's undying love for her smashed into the walls, breaking them back down. He knew she would try to build them back up but he'd deal with that when the time comes.

She leaned her head against his shoulder, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry Castle. For everything." He hushed her but she had to get this out. "Thank you, for staying so supportive." She nuzzled into his neck, fingers laced through his as she found his hands again.

"Always." He answered their secret code, bringing a small smile to her face.

"I hate to break you two up, but we're going to have to move him to his own room now so his family can see him and then you're going to need to let him rest." The nurse informed them, breaking up their little chat.

"We'll talk more later." He whispered to her giving her a kiss before she was led back out to the waiting room filled with anxious friends and family.

Castle lay there bored as he was wheeled around the hospital and up the elevator to a quiet room. He was lucky, the only one in it. They set him up in his new residence for the next week or so. Once settled the others were allowed to come in. Alexis was first to come through the door, terror on her face.

"Dad are you okay?" She ran up and hugged him tears in her eyes.

"I'm fine sweety. I'll be fine." He comforted his daughter. And then it started. The fight.

"Dad, this is all her fault. Please, I don't want to lose you." Her tone was angry followed by something soft. Castle knew this tactic. It was the make you feel bad with the end of my sentence so the beginning doesn't piss you off cause you wont remember. She truly was his child but that meant he knew how to fight back, like her father.

"Now you listen here Alexis. This is not Kate's fault it's mine." he started but the angry teen interrupted him with protests. "No." Castle was authoritative, taking back control of the conversation. "_I_ made her re-open the case years ago. It's _my_ fault there's somebody after her now."

"No, no it's not." she tried to retort again but Castle wasn't having any of it. He was going to nip this in the butt quick. Even if it was in front of all his friends and family in a hospital. The rest of everyone had filtered into the small hospital room during the fight. All save Kate. She figured it best to sit out for this one.

"Yes it is, and it's my fault that I took those bullets today. When Kate said Maddox got away I should have known better then to just go about living life normal." Castle was trying to blame any of this on himself he could. Why couldn't things just work out for them. Why couldn't they have their always.

Alexis tried to argue back again but this time was cut off by Lanie who had seen enough. "How about you all accept this is none of your guys faults and most certainly not Kate's Alexis, and definitely not yours Castle, and that we all work together and get the one whose fault it is." The room went silent. In reality there were a million things that almost everyone there could have done over the past four years to prevent this day, but for everyone to have gotten them all right would have been an impossibility. It was no body's fault and everybody's fault. This is something they would all have to learn to accept.

"Kate, get in here." The M.E. called for her friend. Kate came in sheepishly, staring at the floor, arms crossed, guarded. Everyone now present, she continued. "I've watched over the past four years as this family in this room has hurt each other and often with good intentions. Selfish intentions, but good none the less. Can we agree on that? That everyone meant well?" she asked them, all now starring at the floor embarrassed they were being lectured. They all nodded. "Good. Now what y'all need to do is forgive each other. Castle and Kate have a head start on us all so we gotta catch up." She told them sounding more cheery now.

Since silence filled the room so thick you could slice it, Lanie decided she would start. "I'll show you all. Javi?" She started, turning to her on again off again boyfriend. "I'm sorry I can be so stubborn and narrow minded sometimes. If I wasn't we might have been able to have something like Castle and Kate. Can you forgive me?" she asked and Esposito nodded. "Good, see now I feel better. Anyone else want to be forgiven for something? Ask, but you better be willin' to forgive too." She said to them all. Ryan was up to bat.

"Espo?" He asked. Esposito turned his head away quickly. He was okay with Lanie but a fire of rage still burned in him toward his "former" partner. "God damn it Javier, Kate would be dead if I didn't do what I did. Are you really going to try and tell me you would have got to her in a millisecond cause when I caught her she was about to fall and you were no where bro." He continued, obviously referring to Esposito's excuse on why there was no need for back up to be called in. "I'm not trying to justify it or nothing, well I guess I am. But if saving Kate meant having to break the code, well then damn I did it. I'm sorry I had to hurt you in the process. That was the last thing I wanted but, please forgive me man. It's Kate." He pleaded to have his partner. Kate was like their sister and like any good brothers, they'd do anything to protect her.

Javier's expression softened a little and he looked at Kevin's pleading eyes before he let a heavy sigh escape him. He was mad. He couldn't just let it all go. Kevin spoke up seeing this. "Look, if you can't forgive me, fine. Can we at least put this aside for Kate. We're going to need all hands on deck for this one whether they legally be allowed or not."

This seemed to really break through to him. He was allowed to stay mad but had to pack it aside to protect a friend. He could do that. "Alright, I can work with that." Esposito finally spoke. Ryan extended his hand for a shake and Esposito took it.

"Good to have you back on the team." Ryan said, the first smile on his face in ages.

"See now isn't that nice?" Lanie spoke up again trying to keep the mood light. She knew it would be a very long time if ever that Esposito forgave Ryan for his actions that day, but at least they were being civil. She was sure their camaraderie would break through to him eventually.

Now it was time for a big one. Kate looked up, arms still crossed. "Alexis?" She asked and watched as the teen's head shot up, shooting her dagger eyes. "I want you to know how sorry I am, for everything. For breaking your Dad's heart over the years, for him getting involved in this case. And if I could I would tell him to go and be with you and Martha, that I'm not worth it." The guilt was coming back and Castle couldn't watch.

"Kate, don't say that." He stopped her. He knew what she was getting at but her own guilt was drowning her so he decided to finish. "Alexis, don't be mad at Kate you should be mad at me. Kate didn't hold a gun up to my head and say you have to do this, in fact, we got into a lot of fights about her not wanting me to. But that's not the point. The point is, I chose to do this. I know the risks, we all do. I chose to anyways." He finished. Satisfied that his daughter would be able to see that if she wanted to be mad at Kate, that she would have to be mad at him and possibly even other people too.

"But why Dad, it's so stupid." Alexis asked hurt and confused. Why throw your life away for someone like that. It's not like she was family. Hell until a little less than a week ago, they were just good friends as far as she knew.

Castle let a heavy sigh escape him. It would be a long time before his daughter truly understood what he was about to tell her. "Because when you love someone, I mean really, really love someone, you tend to do really stupid things."He told her with a dopey smile. His auto-dose machine must have recently given him his pain killers because his head was swimming and his tongue was starting to run lose. "I'm so sorry Alexis." He hugged his daughter tight, aware of the aching pain in his body but too high to care. "I love you, please forgive me?" He asked looking at her. His eyes were glossy.

Alexis let out a heavy sigh. There was no winning this battle. Not today at least. "I forgive you Dad." She said to him giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"And Kate?" He interjected. He may have been high as a kite but he could keep his focus on this. He wasn't going to let Alexis get away that easily.

"And Kate." She sighed again, defeated... for now.

"Good girl." he said before letting out a monstrous yawn. "I'm sleepy." He stated as he leaned back against the pillows. The drugs were starting to make his eyes sag and it was already going on midnight.

Martha was now the one to speak up. "C'mon kiddo, lets all go let your Dad get some rest." She said to Alexis, taking her granddaughter by the shoulders and began leading her out.

"Mother?" Castle called to the Martha quietly. "Do me a favor? Take my credit card and make sure everyone has a place to stay tonight?" He finished. He knew his friends couldn't afford to be out here all for Kate and himself and his house wasn't usable at the moment. This was the least he could do.

The others all still tried to interject but he insisted and they quickly accepted. It's common knowledge that it's not the greatest idea to argue with someone in a hospital bed, just bad form. They all filtered out slowly, leaving Kate behind to say goodnight. "You get going too. You need sleep." Castle tried to encourage her to leave. Spending a night in the hospital was always hard, whether you were in the bed drugged up or not. Kate shook her head.

"You really think I'm going to be able to sleep. He's still out there, hunting us Rick." She squeezed his hand for comfort. He always squeezed back.

"At least go get a change of clothes and eat something please. You can't fool me Kate, I know you. You haven't eaten since breakfast." He pleaded with her. He was always trying to make sure she took care of herself, especially when stress made her neglectful. She looked down at her hospital clothes and felt her stomach finally growl with the reminder of the need to eat. He was right, she needed to take care of herself, but that was Castle, always thinking of her needs.

"Okay. I'll go for now. But I'll be back later."She told him giving his forehead a kiss. "Night Rick, I love you" She whispered and gave him one more kiss on the lips, lingering against him a moment before leaving.

"I love you too. Until tomorrow, Kate." He called to her as she left before drifting off to sleep.

As Kate exited the room she found the others had hurried off without her except for Lanie. She sat just outside the door, arms crossed, a stern look on her face. "Katherine Beckett, I am not done with you yet." The M.E. stated and she knew she was in for it. Lanie took her hand and led her to sit on a bench and looked her straight in the face. "Kate, Your blaming yourself for this. I can see it written all over your face and you have to stop it. This was not your fault honey." She was stern but gentle, Kate didn't want to hear all this but she had to.

"But it was Lanie, if I had have listened to him and stopped..." Kate tried to counter but The M.E. wasn't going to have it.

"It would only have been a matter of time Kate. You know too much and you have a conscience. They know that and they aren't going to let you live because of it." She finished. Lanie may not have known all the little details of the case, but it was true. Though Montgomery died and put in a fail safe for her, they probably would have come after her eventually anyways.

"I can't do this Lanie. I can't let him go through this. I can't let him follow me, not when it puts him in so much danger." Kate started to cry again. She had let him into her heart and the thought of having to push him away, even for his own safety shattered her.

"Kate, you have to do this. All you can do is try to protect him cause there's nothing we can do, that man loves you and will do anythin' to be by your side. If anythin' enjoy what you have while it lasts. What you two have doesn't come around everyday. Besides, how could either of you have known your mother's murder had such a dangerous conspiracy around it?" Lanie was finished. She knew when it came to Kate Beckett you had to let her work things out on her own. All you could do was encourage her in the right direction and hope, because even then she'd run headlong the wrong way.

"C'mon, lets go get you some proper clothes and something to eat. I don't know about you but I'm starving." Lanie stood up helping Kate up with her and they left to go meet up with the others. Kate was glad she had found such a good friend in the medical examiner. She knew if she had to talk to someone about anything, she could talk to her. She did feel a little less guilty for everything from her friends kind words and the weight it lifted off her was invigorating. For now, Kate could be Kate.

_A/N: Hey, hope you like how it's all playing out. Just so you know this is not my interpretation of what _will_ happen. This is just me having fun with the characters and what _could_ happen. Please review! More fun to come!_


	9. Back in the Saddle

Castle was sitting alone when he woke up and the doctor told him all the fiddly bits about his injuries. To his disappointment, he most definitely wouldn't be leaving in a week or two. In fact he would be lucky if he could leave in a month. "A month!" He yelled at the doctor. "I don't have that kind of time." He was frustrated. Maddox was on the lose and there was nothing he could do about it. Just sit here in this hospital and go crazy.

"Mister Castle, please calm down. That first bullet passed dangerously close to your heart and damaged several arteries. You put yourself at risk otherwise." The doctors tone was very serious and so Castle was defeated.

He slowly sighed and calmed himself down, realizing the severity of the situation. Castle nodded "Okay." He said quietly, then let the doctor continue.

"The second bullet passed through your stomach missing your spleen, liver, and intestines. Mister Castle I hope you know how lucky you are." The doctor continued. "Now, a stomach wound is very dangerous because of infection so we have to keep an eye on you till you heal. Unfortunately that's going to take at least a month. Try not to move as much as possible in that time and with a little luck, you'll heal quicker." he finished. There was nothing that could be done. If Castle behaved, the sooner he'd heal and he could get out of here. But there was a problem. He couldn't stay here in the Hamptons a month.

"Can't I at least be moved to New York? I _need_ to be there." he asked. There must be some way.

The doctor turned on his heel as he was exiting at Castle's question. "Under normal circumstances this would be impossible however we are aware of your celebrity status. I'm sure for a fee, something could be worked out for you in a few weeks. You must try to be still as possible mister Castle. We can't even hope to move you yet. Try and rest." The doctor told him and finally left him for the night.

Castle leaned back against his pillows and he winced at the movement. It's amazing how much is tied to your stomach muscles. Every little move, a chuckle, even breathing at times ached. He was wide awake and the pain bothered him. Time for more drugs. He hated how dependent of this little machine he was becoming for salvation but it hurt a lot so, oh well. You do what you gotta. He reached beside him to press the little button that would cue more the release of more medication. It gave him a certain amount so often and if he still hurt he could tell it to give him more. There was a limit set of course so he couldn't kill himself. A few minutes later he found himself adrift again. Pain fading and he fell back to sleep.

Kate walked in back from dinner shortly after. She leaned against the door, her arms crossed as she watched him sleep. There was fire in her eyes. She wouldn't be able to truly have a proper relationship with him till this was buried. A fact she had to accept. Instead she made it a mission. She may have "woke the dragon." but what they awoke in Kate Beckett that day was a monster and it was unstoppable and determined. She would find a way.

The FBI was now interested in the case and everyone's favorite special agent was heading the team, Jordan Shaw. "You really have a pension for attracting trouble don't you Miss Beckett." she said as she had entered the small hospital room in the Hamptons a day after the shooting. It seemed their work on the Dunn case impressed her and the fact they were being hunted again, this time by an even harder to find killer, only made her want to take the case more and so she did. Of course their assistance would be essential.

When she found out Kate had resigned from the force, like always she had little to say, but what little she did, always struck home. "It's a pity Miss Beckett. The world needs more defenders of justice with minds like yours. You were a great asset to the city of New York. For the good of the people I hope you reconsider." and having already given them her card with her number, she left.

It had been three weeks since the shooting and everyone was back in New York city. Even Castle who was deemed safe enough to be moved and happily paid a small fortune to do so. Kate spent every minute of every hour of every day by his side, leaving only when her body or Castle command her. She would mostly read to keep her mind off things. A constant battle between whether to leave him for the better or stay constantly running through her head and so she would stay too busy arguing with herself to leave. There was another reason she didn't want to leave but this reason she wouldn't even admit to herself. Fear. The thought of that weakness, of hiding like a scared animal from the dragon disgusted Kate Beckett and to admit she was doing it would be admitting that weakness. That was something she would not stand for.

She was pacing, having worked herself up in an argument again. She wanted out of here. Not for any guilty reason at the moment other than to be able to feel the breeze on her face and the sun on her skin. Kate Beckett wanted to live again and she was getting antsy. Well, maybe a little bit of guilt had seeped in too. Sitting next to Castle in this room for weeks, Kate even found herself longing to stare at the murder board. Every wince he made only drove her to fix this and end this madness once and for all. But how to get back on the case. Hell, how to even get back? Could she even think of going back after what Gates said to her. For this and this alone she would have to, for him. But how? She finally sat and bit her bottom lip and her brow furrowed, deep in thought. How? Was it even safe to leave the hospital or would she be sniped the moment she stepped out into daylight? No, can't think like that. She was startled from her inner turmoil when she heard his soothing voice speak.

"What's eatin' ya Kate." Castle chirped quietly in the darkness of the night. He had an ever comforting smile on his face. She let a heavy sigh escape her before speaking.

"Everything." She answered to be vague as she figured out what workings of her inner thoughts she wanted him to know and which ones she'd keep secret, a product of the remains of the wall. "I'm sick of being stuck in here, I'm sick of this case and I'm sick of nothing going right. I just want to live Rick." She decided that should satisfy him.

"Kate, don't stay here for me. If you're bored, go outside, go live." He told her. He was going almost as crazy as her being trapped here. Maybe if she went outside she could bring him some news of the outside world later. He could only hope. Kate shook her head.

"I'd love to but you know I can't do that." Her tone was flat and frustrated. She could leave but wouldn't. She didn't need to tell Castle what was going on in her head when she showed him like that. But he knew she would never admit to fear so it was time to take another tactic and let her keep her pride.

"You know if you want to go back to the precinct, I wont be upset. Even if you want to work with Shaw and bury this thing. I won't be mad. Just, we do it right this time." He figured direct and straight to the point would work best in this case. They had danced around each other long enough.

She looked up at him in complete and utter awe. How did he just always know. It was nice to know he backed her and she figured he always would but still. Now this brought her back to how. "How do I go back though?" She asked him, as if he'd know but she was open to suggestions.

"Honestly?" He started. "Grovel." He shrugged. After what Kate had told him of that day there didn't seem to be much. "You could talk to Shaw." He suggested. He knew Shaw liked her and would likely vouch for her. "Or I could always call Big Cheese." Another shot in the dark, anything could help at this point.

Kate shook her head at the last suggestion. "No, don't call the mayor. I'll talk to agent Shaw in the morning though." It did seem like the best plausible idea. Maybe there was a loop hole some where. Castle was good at loop holes. Then it struck her. That was it! Castle! Her back straightened has she suddenly had her epiphany. "Castle, I've got it! You're a genius." She just suddenly told him excitedly. Castle just looked at her not quite understanding what just happened. If Castle had worked as a "Civilian Consultant" under her for years, could she not do the same to agent Shaw right now? All she would have to do is ask. It would be another shot in the dark, but it could pay off. She would do so in the morning. She explained everything to Castle and he beamed at her.

"I'm starting to rub off on you." He chuckled happily. She was figuring things out finally and it made him happy to see the strong independent woman he fell in love with again. He couldn't wait till this was all over.

She chuckled back. "Maybe a little." Then told him to go back to sleep. It was the middle of the night. Everything else could wait till morning.

When Castle awoke she was gone, already back in the saddle. He was glad despite that he would now be lonely and miss her. He still had his books to review though and that should keep him busy for the few more weeks until he was free of this prison.

* * *

Kate sat in a small room in the twelfth precinct across from agent Shaw. Gate's observed from her window, eyes squinting between the blinds the whole time and she radiated rage if one needed to talk to her.. When Kate explained to the special agent her situation and plan, all Shaw could do was laugh. "I was wondering how long it would take for you to figure that one out. Welcome to the team." Shaw told her extending her hand, but wasn't done with Kate yet. "Now I don't know how you ran the investigation beforehand but I am in charge here and what I say goes. No if, ands or buts, or you'll be off the case understood?" She told Kate, gripping her hand firmly.

Kate nodded. "Understood" There could be no screwing around this time. This time they did it by the book. They started to head towards the high tech murder boards and other gadgets that the F.B.I. Had brought with them, ready to dive in. "So what have you found out?" She asked, assuming there must be something found from the Hamptons shooting.

Without missing a beat Shaw answered her. "We pulled a partial off the rifle he used. Confirms it was Maddox." she starting rallying off the gathered facts, bringing Kate back up to speed. They had found Maddox hotel he had hid out in and he made a few phone calls while there. They traced the calls to a burner phone paid for with cash and the trail ended there. These guys were good, real good. But it was this fact that would get them caught in the end. It took a lot of money and power to hire former military hitmen. This narrowed their target pool. The fact that he was willing to pour out so much resources to keep the truth of all this secret said he must be a public figure witch would make this more difficult. Still it didn't take long for Shaw to figure out their former captains involvement and Kate came clean about everything else on the condition that Montgomery's memory would be preserved. This knowledge now in hand they could narrow the pool further. He had to have gained his wealth some time in the 90's and been tied closely to the city. This put them down to only one person. But how to go up against that? They needed real evidence, not speculation. They needed someone to slip up somewhere. Cole Maddox was their man.

Two weeks later with Castle finally out of the hospital and home still healing, and the fact Beckett managed to sneak her way back onto the case, Maddox scrambled to relay the news. Little did he know they had him bugged. They tracked a slip up when he drew cash from an A.T.M. They normally would have missed it but a mugging took place later that day and the A.T.M. camera was an acting witness. The cop reviewing the tape caught a glimpse of his face and recognized it since the sketch from the description Kate gave to an artist now hung on all most wanted boards. Using a the time stamp they got from the video, they got the bank to give them his banking info and it was easy pickings from there. They found out what hotel he was staying in and bugged the phone in his room. That got them the name of a very liked U.S. Senator but he was just another puppet. It was now like a game of chess. Trying to figure out the other side's next move before they figured out yours. They couldn't just rush in. They had to be more tactful then that. They had to wait again.

"He's so close Castle I can taste it. I just want to pick up the Senator and make him squeal on his leader." Kate told him after a frustrating day of running out of moves. It was the dragon's turn. Castle typed away at his computer. He wasn't allowed to do much else. He was prescribed rest and heavy pain killers for the next month and then the real fun began. Regaining his literal strength. Being stuck in a bed for several weeks really deteriorates your muscles. Kate recalled when he first got out of the hospital and tried to walk on his own refusing help and Ryan and Esposito had to catch him before he collapse. He was starting to do better now though. He could walk around pretty good but bending and stretching was still out of the question.

Castle finally looked up from his computer and responded. "Be patient Kate. If we really are this close it wont take long now." He smiled reassuringly. He was afraid she would try and go rogue and do this herself. This worry was apparent on his face.

"What do you look so worried about?" She asked him. They were starting to get more comfortable talking to each other about everything and though she normally would have a long debate about whether to ask a question as such, now she didn't give it a second thought.

"Just promise me you won't go rogue and try and do this alone, because I know that tone in your voice and that's exactly what you want to do." He sputtered out quickly like he always did when he was worried. Kate laughed at him then got up and gave him a hug and a kiss before answering.

"Don't worry I won't. I do want to, but I know we have to do this right this time." She kept her arms laced around his neck and pressed her forehead against his. "Besides, if I did go rogue, what would I do without my partner?" She asked him, smiling playfully. He smiled back at her remark and kissed her.

"I guess your right." He said. Both of them felt tired from the day for different reasons and so they headed off to bed. Castle wasn't quite ready for bed time fun so they were forced to just snuggle. Kate had pretty much unofficially moved in and spent every night there since he had gotten out of the hospital. She rest her head in the soft crook between Castle's chest and shoulder and let her hand glide up and down his full chest, pausing to draw small circles on his abdomen.

"Oh the things I'm going to do to you once you're better." she started to say to him. "I see handcuffs in your future Richard Castle." she murmured into his neck.

He smiled ear to ear as he realized he would soon get to see another secret side to this woman. "I can simply not wait to learn your safe word Katherine Beckett."He told her. Just as always, she had a quick retort.

"Who said I'd be the one needing the safe word?"Her tone was sexy and filled with lust.

"Oh you're bad." He replied excited for the future. They lay there and chat back and forth for a while in the darkness. About little life stories, their childhood, and to Castle's utter enjoyment, Kate talked about her mom. She told him about how in love her parents were. Or how despite how busy her mom might have been with a case, she would always find time for Kate. Castle learned that Kate's mom had a secret sense of humor that would only come out now and then but when it did it was great. Like a story she told of a time her mother was out back gardening and she found a snake. Kate's father was terrified of snakes and so her mother brought in their new "pet" asking if they could keep it. Her father squealed like a girl and locked himself in the bathroom. To his dismay Johanna Beckett let the small snake slip under the door now cornering him with his enemy. They rescued him after they heard the shower curtain rip and a loud thud as he toppled into the tub.

"I think she would have liked you." She told him as they finally caught their breath from the laughter. "She would have found your charm to be funny and sweet, not that you'd have acted any other way around her I'm sure, but still I think, she'd approve." He chucked at her last comment but beamed with a certain kind of pride. He may not have gotten to meet the woman but hearing Kate say that she would approve of him was comforting some how.

"You really think so?" He asked her, a hint of a blush from flattery on his cheeks. She nodded then rest her head back on his chest. It seemed their conversation had carried on long enough and so they allowed themselves to drift off to sleep.

_A/N: Sorry for the delay in the update. My birthday is coming up and my partner decided to get me an early birthday gift of all three seasons of Castle on DVD and promised to get me the fourth when it comes out. So needless to say I've been binging on old episodes. Also a few ideas for one shots have popped into my head that I might write later. As I said my birthday is coming up so I will probably spend this weekend celebrating but updates should pick up again shortly after. Thanks again for the reviews, follows, and faves. _


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